TYRA SAID

Here I am...lying in bed while on holiday enjoying a smooth cigarette and a beer. I miss smoking in bed while drinking beer on holiday :(

DAY 2. This no smoking is really not fun and still not recommended. I haven't even saved any money yet!!! I'm still down due to the purchase of the nicotine patches. Will this ever pay off?

It's still painful and not getting any better. I know it's Satan making sure of that. But I'm kinda getting use to clenching my teeth, having my mouth water and the sharp pain in my neck. What's up for debate is how well it's going for anyone around me. I imaging I'm still as pleasant as expected (I don't think much is expected) but I know it's getting worse and at some point soon people will be hearing me tell them to FUCK OFF (a lot). That won't last forever though. It will eventually change from FUCK OFF to the Judgmental Aunt glares which go over a lot worse than my typical FUCK OFF.

After work today I walked home with a co-worker who smoked on the way. It smelled FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC...I nearly came in my pants it smelled so good. What doesn't smell good is my condo that I smoked regularly in for the past six months. I guess the smoke smell will go away sooner or later with the help of open windows and Fabreeze. If it doesn't I can always start smoking again and it will go back to not smelling...at least to me.

There's a big stress tonight. I have a friend coming in from out of town and we're going out for drinks. Not so bad so far, right? Well the trick is he a French Canadian and smokes like a fiend! (Damn the French, I say, Damn them all with their cigarettes and bad jokes.) Now here's the stress... I don't like standing in bars alone (people will look and say who's that loser all by himself or even worse ugly people will hit on me because I'll look like a lonely loser) so I will be moving to the small little smoking area regularly with him so he can smoke. I'm sure I'll be fine with it (ya think?.....ummm no). But cross your fingers and hope for the best. Wish me well or FUCK OFF!

On America's Next Top Model Tyra said a lot of models smoke but they don't last long in the industry. Well if I'm to take my super model career seriously I will have to pay attention to words from the wise! It was also said that if I start to gain weight just do some coke because ALL models do that if it's needed or not.