SKINNY FAT
I know I'm gonna sound like Jason but this no smoking thing is really speeding up the GETTING FAT PROCESS. The horrible thing is I don't really like eating but since I quit smoking (which I really liked doing) I'm always eating. I really don't want to get fat because I won't be the regular kind of fat. No it's much worse...I'll be SKINNY FAT. You know you have seen that skinny guy who's also fat. Yes, the best of both worlds scrawny everywhere 'cept for that big fat belly. It's so fucking hot. Yeah, it turns everyone on. Kinda' like a really skinny pregnant lady in her third trimester.
I guess I'll have to go back to the gym. I hate it and I have been putting it off forever but I have no choice.
I've got use to...
the jiggle when I walk somewhere quickly
the increasingly large double chin
the pants getting a little more difficult to button up.
people asking if I've been working out to which I have to rely no I'm just fat now
The revelation came today when I pushed out my belly to match the pregnant lady's belly at work...someone hit it and it jiggled. I mean my belly was pushed out with all its might but it jiggled. It's getting out of hand and has to be fixed.
What I don't like about the stupid gym it is it makes me tired and it costs money. Finally I'll have to pay a trainer 'cause I better get something out of it. But will I do it is the question (keep in mind I'm cheap and lazy).
PS Jason if you see this I want this to replace your current avatar.
posted by your judgemental aunt at 10:34 PM
3 Comments:
Oh man, I'm getting so scared now. I'm gonna have to do all this bs too, because my damn fatty genes are programmed to freak out when it gets cold and start eating like a monster so that I get all fat and incubated like. Hmm, I have that Beastie Boys song in my head, you know the one that goes "HEARTATTACK HEARTATTACK MAN!!!!" It's not good. I'm going to have to start the Dr.Cruel regime of jogging outside when it's hailing and making myself want to get empaled on a sharp icicle so that I can put myself out of my bloated winter misery, but I suppose it could be worse. It can be fun though, getting some exercise. It just takes willpower. We can do it. Gotta quit smoking too.
sunflower seeds.
sounds off i know. it's me afterall, but they really helped me quit smoking and not pig out on every item of food in my home. i only gained 5lbs from quitting and eventually lost it....now the 2 kids...that's a different story. as for the avator for clackmeister, it's PRICELESS...it's so good i love it! i hope he uses it.
That is a million trillion % me.
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