Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Things learned in Chicago.

Things my friends and I learned this weekend in Chicago.
-The I.M.L. competition is not actually called a "Leather Walk Off" (But Yaaay! for Montreal)
-When I'’m drunk and sharing a bed with you, I WILL feel up while I'’m sleeping.
-I don'’t always sleepwalk in Chicago. Sometimes I'’m just too tired.
-You really don'’t want to become a *slave.
-Sometimes a deal is not a deal. I will not pay $120.00 bucks for a blazer similar to the one my nana wore in 1968 even if it is PRADA and it is super discounted.
-Once I get a little too drunk I will talk to everyone I see, I will not go home until it'’s absolutely necessary, and until that time I will not stop drinking and I will drink faster.
-The little rings on leather harnesses are for manhandling someone.
-Sometimes people get up really early everyday when they'’re on holiday.
-If you want to have people hit on you non stop just show up really drunk at a bar alone.
-There are not even close to enough bathrooms on Chicago bars.
-I'’m pee shy before I'm drunk.
-When person says someone'’s an Indian is not OK to question which type of Indian by saying "Dot or Feather?".
-Some American ATMs are set up to trick Canadians by giving the cash and then the receipt before returning the card therefore causing the non tricky Canadian to forget his banking card in the machine on the first night in town. (NOTE: Mexican ATMs are set up to trick Canadians too.)

*My friends saw a master throw throw his slave into a wall by his neck and held there while he kneed him hard in the nuts. That's love, no? The best part is this was at the Hilton. I'm glad I missed that.

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some of these you've had ample opportunity to learn before. You just chose not to.

May 31, 2006 9:56 AM  
Blogger Timmy said...

so, why no side trip to Indianapolis to see us? HMMMM???

May 31, 2006 10:45 AM  
Blogger your judgemental aunt said...

Now, now Salem. These were things one or more my friends and/or I learned.

Ummmm...is Indy close to Wrigley Field cause that's about as far as I went from the loop.

May 31, 2006 11:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just meant things like:

Once I get a little too drunk I will talk to everyone I see, I will not go home until it's absolutely necessary, and until that time I will not stop drinking and I will drink faster

better not have been a surprise to you.

May 31, 2006 11:30 AM  
Blogger Butchie said...

That is a nice hotel. I did a week-long show there once (for Hilton) so I got to eat in the employee cafeteria. It was catfich, greens, gumbo, neckbones etc.. everyday. Fuckin awesome. There is a resteraunt called the George Diamond Steakhouse a few blocks from there. They have not decorated since '55. Next time you are there- go there.

May 31, 2006 11:53 AM  
Blogger madamerouge said...

"Sleepsex."

Games!

May 31, 2006 1:25 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

I can't believe "dot or feather." You are so bad.

May 31, 2006 11:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say that all the time. Is that bad?

June 01, 2006 10:50 AM  
Blogger your judgemental aunt said...

Buchie - there's a Hardee's in a nice hotel like that?

Rouge - No games just stress

Salem - Yes....supposedly it's VERY bad. I don't know why but it is.

June 01, 2006 11:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As the object of YJA affection I can confirm there is something called sleep sex...

I am sad we didn't see the actual "leather walkoff"

You also forgot that Chicago is a city of timid bottoms.

June 01, 2006 1:14 PM  

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