Newfie Medical Dictionary

Artery......................... The study of paintings

Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria

Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die

Benign........................ What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section............. A neighbourhood in Rome

Catscan........................ Searching for Kitty

Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her

Colic.......................... A sheep dog

Coma........................... A punctuation mark

Dilate......................... To live long

Enema.......................... Not a friend

Fester......................... Quicker than someone else

Fibula......................... A small lie

Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known

Labour Pain.................... Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane

Morbid......................... A higher offer

Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates

Node........................... Past tense of know

Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted

Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative................. A letter carrier

Recovery Room.................. Place to do upholstery

Rectum......................... Nearly killed him

Secretion...................... Hiding something

Seizure........................ Roman emperor

Tablet......................... A small table

Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport

Tumour......................... One plus one more

Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out