That's hot.

Anyone planning on getting married anytime soon? White dresses feel a little played-out?

I think I can help.

It's the subtle details that really make a wedding day special, I think.

Who'd Ya Do?

It's the Sassy Granny edition this week! So, you know the drill; who'd ya
do?

The ever-vibrant Bea Arthur?




Emmy Winner Doris Roberts?
















Or Mrs. Roper herself, Audra Lindley?

Sassy Granny Edition Bea Arthur Doris Roberts Audra Lindley View Results Make your own poll

I was gonna include Teri Hatcher, but it's Friday and I'm feeling nice.

PAMELA ANDERSON - VERY FUNNY

I found the link Pamela Anderson ad for the Canadian Juno Awards.
Here's the link.
PAM AD

It always makes me laugh. I fackin love it!

Go outside!

Hooray! In Canadaland, we've finally reached spring. For today, anyways.

I'm lovin' it. And here's a picture of my soul on this sunshiney day;

Think They're Scoping It Out For Spring Break?

I can see the ad on late night TV "North American Leaders Go Wild!".
Stephen Harper Mooning. George Bush funneling beer. Vicente Fox doing a strip tease.

CANCUN, Mexico - Prime Minister Stephen Harper met with his American and Mexican counterparts in the shadow of an ancient Mayan pyramid Thursday to kick off a two-day North American summit. Could this just be an excuse for these guys get drunk and hit on some college chicks?

Pam Too?

She's all save the seals too! And wants to meet with the Prime Minister to discuss the issue. Whatever, She's sooooo west cost!

Here's a recipe for Pam Anderson.

Newfoundland Flipper Pie
2 seal flippers
1 small turnip, cubed
3 carrots, sliced
2 onions, sliced
1 parsnip, sliced
2 ½ cups water
1 ½ oz screech
½ fat back pork
2 tbsp vinegar

DUMPLING PASTRY:
1 ½ cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
small pat of butter

Cut all fat and slag (AKA Mitzzee)from flippers, place them in a deep dish
and add enough boiling water to cover, add vinegar and set
aside to cool, then wipe dry with a paper towel and place
in baking pan or large casserole dish. Add pepper and salt
to taste, cover with sliced onions and sliced fat pork (AKA Jimmy),
dribble the screech over the contents. Cover and cook for 2
hours in a pre heated oven , 375 degrees. Boil turnip,
carrots and parsnip in 2 ½ cups of water for 20 minutes.
When ready place in baking dish along with flipper. Use
vegetable water for gravy... thickened with flour. Make
dumpling pastry and pat over flippers and vegetables. Cover
and bake gently until pastry is done (about 15 minutes).


Mmmmmmm yummy.

I must admit her commercial for hosting the Junos is really funny. I tried to find the commercial on the web so the non-Canadians could see it but had no luck :(
I'll post it if I can find it.

Crack is wack, yo.

It appears Whitney Houston's sister-in-law has sold photos of her scuzzy bathroom to the tabloids.

It's one thing to be worried about a family member's drug problem, but it's quite another to put that family member's crappy housekeeping habits on blast.

Funny, I wouldn't have pegged Whitney as a Budweiser drinker.

I'm sad for the seals but mostly sad for me!

"As things stand, Canada has placed itself alongside China as the cruelest and most self-serving nation," - Morrisey

PS Morrisey please refer to my earlier post.

Live Action Simpsons!

Who'd Ya Do?

The choice this week is between the Original Charlie's Angels



Kelly



Sabrina



Chris

WHICH ANGEL 1) KELLY 2) SABRINA 3) CHRIS View Results Make your own poll

Don't forget about all the idiots buying the Tim stock today.

Rrrrroll Up The Rim...

I won a new car with my coffee today!!!

Well, no. I lied. I won a free coffee. But I didn't think that was exciting enough for a post.

Really, I just wanted to post something, anything to move that picture of Britters from the top of the page. It was starting to give me the wiggins.

I mean, my god.

Happy Friday everyone!

Art Is Gross

Some pro-life group decided that Britney Spears is an excellent model for pro-lifers and decided to dedicate a statue to her.

The statue includes "(n)atural aspects of Spears’ pregnancy, like lactiferous breasts and protruding naval, (which) compliment a posterior view that depicts widened hips for birthing and reveals the crowning of baby Sean’s head."

O....kay?

Hardball TV Show

I came across this TV show last night. It's a bit hardball and I'm sure it'll be full of backstabbing, cheating, etc... Seems kinda like Big Brother with more stress.

9 people live in a "BUNKER" with no windows, no clocks and no connection to the outside world until the prize of 1.5 million is awarded to a winner. The trick is that the 9 participants have unanimously vote for one person to get the money and they cannot vote for themselves. So to win you need 8 votes (all the other players). At one point during last night's show the contestants are told three secrets about three of the players but the participants are not told which secrets belong to which players.

Obviously the first round of votes to award the 1.5 million did not yield a winner.

Highlights from last night...

This chick is a minister who likes to tell people they are sinners. Her secret - She claimed bankruptcy when she had an annual income of over $100,000.00



This is the token gay guy. This guy and the minister don't get along. She brings up Sodom & Gomorrah a lot when telling him he's a sinner.



This guy told everyone he has testicular cancer (he doesn't, he lied)




His secret - Spent time in a mental institution.





Her secret - Held by police for possessing live ammo.






The show ended last night with all 9 contestants having to make a unanimous decision... Which secret warranted a person to be out of the game. But there was a catch. The 1.5 million dollar prize will steadily decrease in size until a unanimous decision is made.

Wednesdays on Fox at 9:30.

For Jimmy and other Fat Dudes

There's help out there. The fat guy from The Apprentice has all the help you'll need. Tested and true, it's the THE 4 BAGEL PLAN. If you eat just 4 bagels a day with light margarine and a glass of water you too will loose weight without exercise.

*This diet is also known as anorexia nervosa.

Scientology and The Tooth

What is Scientology?
So we've all heard about how Tom Cruise (AKA The Tooth) freaked out about taking psychiatric drugs and advised on vitamins. Well that doesn't always work. (see here)
But I didn't know why Scientology was against the drugs. Well get this... Scientologists believe modern psychiatric medicine derives from an ancient alien civilization's plot to drug and enslave humanity.
Jenna Elfman said "if you want to Keep Scientology Working, you need to do the PTS/SP Course. Either that or you could be dead. You pick.”


Yeah it's F*uked.

PS They don't like the gays either (at least they got something right).

Gem Gem Gem Gem

I'm hoping to find a sweater like this for Auntie's birthday (in May! Start shopping NOW!). The combination of gems and shoulder pads is breathtakingly exquisite. Mind you, this picture is somewhat fuzzy.
Please try the music video.It's just...I have no words.

Proactiv

Not only does Proactiv help Diddy "moisturize his situation" and "preserve his sexy," it also serves up the cold, blunt truth.

DRUNK!

I offered up this weekend to St. Patrick.

Friday I said "poch ma hone" a lot and drank, drank, drank.

Went to a house party Saturday in the beaches where there was a pretty bartender chick that made me lots of fancy martinis. I drank many, so many that I poked some old fat guy in the belly and said "nobody likes a fat girl", his wife wasn't impressed. But I was and that's what's important, right?

I decided it was time to leave at 2:30 and thought I would just grab a cab outside. I did find an available cab but empty cabs are not easily found on Lakeshore Blvd. in the early morning hours so it took 20 min in the freezing cold. I now have frost bite on my left ear. Yeah, I love leaving the downtown core.

It's officially spring today or tomorrow so winter can officially Fack Off!

Drinkin With The Irish Gays

In the spirt of St. Patty's Day I'll be drinking with Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
Happy St. Patty's Day!

Ha! Ha! Funny gay Irish names!

Who'd Ya Do?

Get lucky with Lucky?


Crunch on the Capt'n


Trick with the Trix Rabbit?

WHO WOULD YOU DO? 1) Lucky 2) Capt'n Crunch 3) Trix Rabbit View Results Make your own poll

Jimmy's Breakfast Eats

Here's Jimmy's favorite breakfast treat.

HEADS UP - THE NEXT BIG THING FOR SUMMER

I was shopping for my new summer wardrobe at Holt's this weekend and was shown some shorts that were the shit in Spain last year. I was told once the summer hit they'd be very difficult to find anywhere so I picked up a couple of pairs. I would recommend you do the same.

A Bit Much

I went to see the remake of THE HILLS HAVE EYES yesterday and let me just say it was a bit much for me. I love horror movies and gore but this movie actually repulsed me. Burning a live man on a cross while raping a chick, shooting two people and stealing a baby all in one scene was a bit more than I was expecting.

For Paul McCartney

Who'd Ya Do?

PEE-WEE HERMAN


MIMI


MR. BEAN

WHO WOULD YOU DO? 1) PEE-WEE HERMAN 2) MIMI 3) MR. BEAN View Results

What do you want to bet Here I Go Again by Whitesnake was their wedding song?

CHiPs

Well it looks like everyone likes the 70s cops. I really didn't think it would be that overwelming but TOMKAT did get one vote. I guess I didn't give challanging options. I'll do better tomorrow.

Good news and Bad News
It's almost spring. Soon the shit that all the animals pooed out all winter will thaw out creating the second worst stench in Toronto. (Number one stench is the "cum trees").

Who'd Ya Do?

I have decided that Friday should be dedicated to WHO'D YA DO?
I'll give you three options and you tell me Who you would do. Everyone knows three is company so today's choices are gonna be couples.

1. CHiPs - Yes, cheezy 70's cops


2. PARIS & NICHOLE - A Skank and a Bitch.


3. TOM & KATIE - Huge Freak & Freak In The Making

WHO WOULD YOU DO? 1) CHiPs 2) PARIS & NICHOLE 3) TOM & KATIE View Results

My Nemesis

'NUF SAID!

SO HARD

My job is soooooooo hard. I haven't had the chance to update this with anything.
I wish I had an easy job like you. You have it sooo good with your "job". If you can even call it a job. So easy. Yes, you have it so easy it makes me sick. I hate you and your painless job. Your uncomplicated, undemanding, basic, effortless, elementary, not burdensome, straightforward job.

Fuck I just remembered I have to do my RRSPs tonight because the government didn't take even close to enough tax from me yet!