Alert!

It's only a matter of time before Frank crosses the border, Canadians. Mind your kitchen floors.

I'm confused about how he "then peaced." Peaced out, I guess? Damn you, Williamsburg and your hipster lingo! I'm not hip to your jive.

CATS ARE PURE EVIL

IN MY EYES ALL CATS ARE JUST LIKE THIS ONE. NASTY EVIL PEICES OF THE DEVIL.

Top 10 Canadian Horror Movies of All Time PIN, GINGER SNAPS and PROM NIGHT are my favorites.

Halloween Saturday!

So Miss Thistle showed up dressed like a whore. Yes, that's right she didn't get dressed up. Only Salem and I were in costume. I don't get it. I love Halloween and I get dressed up every year. Oh well, their loss. Salem was a pirate and I was the proctologist from hell.

I drank Bazooka Bulls and they do taste like bubble gum. mmmmmmm. I had an ice cream headache for the first hour or so at the bar and couldn't figure out why. I complained about it to everyone I was with. When I was outside smoking with a friend and I told him about it he asked how tight is the band around my head. I said it's pretty tight I guess so he told me to move it further up. Thirty seconds later the ice cream headache was gone. So I asked my friend how he knew that. He said "sisters". His sisters used to get headaches like that from tight ponytails.

Salem and Thistle both claim this is their new boyfriend..


Here's the one and only sighting of Ugly Betty.


We all got good and drunk. Salem disappeared after the first bar but the bulk of us stayed out for the extra hour (fall back) of drinking. Met lots of people and saw some great costumes. Tuesday should be great as they shut down the streets for a big ol' party. I'll be tired on Wednesday.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Fierce.

My favourite person on the internets - besides my fellow bloggers, natch - is early '90s Tampa Public Access sensation Sondra Prill.

Here's her stellar rendition of Addicted To Love. If you don't have time to watch the whole thing, be sure to check her out on the stairs just after the two-minute mark.

I think it's her mixing of sequins and facial growling that really makes it art.

WHO'D YA DO? - Creepy Bands

I already did killers for Friday the 13th but since it's Halloween I thought I would do creepy bands this week. I like all these bands. I had a friend who once described what I listened to as "Kill you mother music". But I like me mum. Anyway here's this week's Who'd Ya Do.

Marilyn Manson

I love these guys.

Rammstein
Love, Love, Love Rammstein. If they ever play here someone has to come with me.

Razed In Black
Great band (sometimes not so much). They remix other bands too and they do it well .

Rob Zombie
I liked White Zombie and I like Rob Zombie. Most likey this is Skitzzee's fave.

WHO'D YA DO? Creepy Bands Marilyn Manson Rammstein Razed In Black Rob Zombie View Results

Um. Weird

Pelican eats pigeon. Interesting. Now, where can I buy a pelican?

Way To Go Canada Post

Never though I would say this but WAY TO GO CANADA POST WORKERS!
Vancouver postal workers walk out over delivery of ‘hate' literature.

THURSTDAY

See that shot to the left it is called a Brain Hemmorage. I used to drink these all the time when I was in my early 20's because they looked so gross. Anyway it seems like a great drink for Halloween.

Ingredients:
1 oz Peach schnapps
1 tsp Bailey's Irish Cream
1/2 tsp Grenadine
Mixing instructions:
First, pour the peach schnapps. Then, slowly pour the Irish Cream. Do not mix! The Cream will clump together and settle at the bottom of the schnapps. It will have the appearance of an internal organ!! Pour the grenadine over the Cream for a completely disgusting looking bloody brain!

Click here for other Halloween themed drinks.

Notes:

Things I'm not happy about...
I'm getting fatter everyday.
I have no money.
My friend is going to live in Argentina for a month and I'm not (I have to water his plants here in cold Toronto).
I have to pay my land taxes for the past two years by December 31st.
My family is going to Las Vegas and Laguna for Christmas and I'm not.
I didn't get laid off with a nice big juicy package. I am once again left behind.
I need a nice warm beach holiday but don't have one planned.
Pablo is hunting me down and will kill me soon.
Halloween Saturday is coming up and I don't know what I want to be yet. :(

But enough about what's sad. Here's some fun stuff!

On Criminal Minds last night the serial killer was a little red headed, freckled face child. Yeah it was hard to figure out that one of the devil's children (aka red heads) would be the serial killer. Beware the redheads! They're worse than Pablo.

Canada welcomes Americans with open arms.

Rick in the demolition derby this week was priceless

The Americans (and Mexicans) probably won't get this but I laughed so hard when I saw it. It is called the Belinda Stronach Remix...

The three song choices are perfect, no?

Here's the video of naughty Peter MacKay calling Belinda a dog in parliment.

This Should So Be On Buchie's Blog

Y'all Jus' Jellus

So sleepy now. Damn you, tasty wings!

Traces Of Pablo

Pablo has been in my apartment. Here's the proof... burritos in my freezer. Oh my God! I've called the RCMP and they told me I'm not the only one to report this. How did he get past security? Stop toying with me. LEAVE ME ALONE! I'm so scared.

Danger At The Gap!

I know these ads aren't supposed to be funny but I laugh every time. Too many horror movies I guess.

Upsetting.

I hadn't seen Michael J. Fox in any public appearances for some time, so this was a little shocking. It's a commercial in support of Senator Claire McHaskill and stem cell research.


And, Rush Limbaugh? Eat a dick, you fat douche.

Stuff.

Like Auntie, I drank a lot this weekend. So, to recover, one movie I watched was Breakfast At Tiffany's. I'd never seen it before (for real!) and here are my thoughts;

1. Audrey Hepburn totally rocks the wardrobe. Little black dresses, cute earplugs, and a trench and Chanel bag I completely covet. She's also skinny as shit and I must stop eating now.



2. No matter what people say, smoking is pretty effing cool. It's even cooler with a cigarette holder.


3. How have I never heard about Mickey Rooney playing a Japanese man in this??? OMGRACIST!@!@


Off topic - I've got my Hallowe'en costume ideas down to two choices now; either Anna Wintour or Ugly Betty. Depends on what I find first - a fur coat or fake braces.

The Result of Stress

Last week was kind of a nightmare for me thus the lack of posts. My company laid off a heck of a lot of people. No, I wasn’t one of ‘em but many of my friends were let go. I wanted to be one of them but I wasn’t. As a result I went out on Friday night with some people from work and I got pretty messy. Sorry for not returning your call Cashew and Fingerbang but I didn’t even see you called until Saturday afternoon. I do apologize if you had to interact with me in any way. I apologize to the lesbians from Indianapolis, to the members of the National Ballet of Canada (especially the nice Filipino ballerina) and to Brian from baseball.

I was actually about to go home at a ½ decent hour when I ran into a guy that used to play Baseball on my team and he thought it was a great idea for me to stay out and keep drinking. (I need to be told "go home" or I'll just stay out). We went to a couple of other bars. I vaguely remember being refused entry into Byzantium. Well they didn’t say no directly to me but they did say no to my friend who then told me we couldn’t get in because of my state of inebriation. To my knowledge I have never been refused entry into a bar before this. Well I guess I can take that off my list of things to be proud of. Lesson Learned: A bowl of steamed rice and some BBQ pork at lunch really isn’t enough to eat for the day if you plan to drink a lot of beer.

I was super hung over the next day. I really don’t get hung over often but Satty afternoon was a nightmare. I canceled my evening plans (sorry Eric) because I could hardly function until 10:30pm rolled around. So needless to say I did nothing on Saturday but regret the night before and wallow in shame and embarrassment.

On the positive side I did get a good night’s sleep on Saturday and I had a fun Sunday.

BTW I went to see the Grudge 2 yesterday. It sucked. The first one sucked but this one REALLY sucked. Don’t go. It’s a waste of time.

Who'd Ya Do

This week it's (Mostly) Singing Twins. I stuck with all boys.

The Proclaimers! Da da da da!


Jason and Jeremy London. So cute in Mallrats, Party of Five, and Dazed and Confused. I don't know who was in what. I think one (or both) is fat now.


The brothers from "punk" band Good Charlotte. I forget which one's boffing The Duff.


And those blondies from Nelson. At least they cut their hair.

Who'd Ya Do Proclaimers Londons Maddens Nelsons View Results Make your own poll

THURSTDAY

My favorite shot is a Sicilian Kiss
Ingredients:
1/2 oz. Amaretto
1/2 oz. Southern Comfort
Instructions:
Pour both ingredients into 1 oz. shot glass and suck 'er back.

YUMSYTOWN!

What Do You Think?

I finally decided on a Haloween costume. I wanted to be butch but not too butch. You like?

WHO'D YA DO? Friday The 13th

The YOUTUBE clips are for Skitzee.

Jason Voorhees

Here's His My Space page

Freddy Krueger

Here's his My Space page

Michael Myers

Here's his My Space page

Jigsaw

Here's his My Space page
Jigsaw Loves The Scissor Sisters! Look at him dance!

Pinhead

Here's his My Space page

WHO'D YA DO? Friday The 13th Jason Voorhees Freddy Krueger Michael Myers Jigsaw Pinhead View Results

THURSTDAY

I have in the past drank Red Bull with vodka and tequila or with just Vodka alone but I think I may want to try a Bazooka Bull.
It's Bacardi Limon and Red Bull. Served as a highball on the rocks. It supposed to taste like a Bazooka Joe Bubble Gum and who wouldn't bubblegum flavored booze?

Other Red Bull Drinks...

S.O.B.
No, it's not what you think. Your mother won't get offended with this one. It's Stoli Orange and Red Bull. Served as a highball on the rocks. Ask the guys at Freeskier Magazine about this one. An orange wedge for garnish.

Blaster
It started in Europe and made its way to Denver. Presentation is important with this. A pint glass with a can of Red Bull on top with it's tab open so that the can will rest on the glass and pour on its own while the bartender pours the Jagermeister into a shot glass. Drop the shot of Jager into the glass of Red Bull and chug. Also known in Breckenridge as a "Bullmeister".

Dirty Little Bastard
Created by some bartenders in Montana, this one consists of a pint glass filled with ice and a shot of Bacardi 151, fill with Red Bull and a float of Jagermeister. Drink it through a straw till it's gone. Keep your hands on the glass, not the person sitting next to you.

Depth Charger
There is some controversy over this one. Whatever they call it, it's much like the Blaster only you substitute Stoli Vanilla and Grand Marnier for the Jager. Remember, presentation is important.
Chambull
Simple! Champagne (the real stuff made in France!) mixed with Red Bull. Bring on the bubbles. Champagne glass with a cherry on the bottom.

Kiss-A-Bull
A little flava added to the bull. A shot of apple, grape, cherry, watermelon, or peach Pucker and Red Bull. Served as a highball on the rocks. A cherry garnish is a nice touch.

Tish & Terry
Created by the bartenders who discovered it in Portland, Oregon. Finlandia cranberry vodka and Red Bull. Served as a highball on the rocks. Lime wedge garnish.

Bull Royale
Ladies and Gentlemen alike enjoy this one. A shot of Crown Royal and a half-shot of Amaretto Di Sarrono with Red Bull. Served in a highball on the rocks. Cherry garnish.

Bullgarita
A south of the border favorite. Red Bull with Jose Cuervo tequila, triple sec, and lime juice. Salted or unsalted. Served in a hurricane glass on the rocks. Lime wheel garnish.

Ronin Bull
Created by a sushi grill and bar in Boulder. Raspberry fused sake, Stoli vodka and Red Bull. Served in a highball on the rocks.

So Mean To Grandma!

This post is for Jason. He'd so do this.

Passing Judgment

I told you earlier today about all the bad clothing choices I saw on Saturday night. Here's some examples. Prepare yourself, it isn't pretty.

The necklace was bad but the ringer in this pic is the Labatt 50. I mean what chick drinks Labatt 50?

These shoes have to be the worst I've seen. The picture really doesn't do them Justice. When these beauties caught my eye I couldn't stop looking. It was like seeing a car accident, you don't want to see it but you can't help but to keep looking at it.

Now this was by far the best. This dude had it all. The yellow tuke (sp?) that was way too big. And that shirt was a nightmare. It looks like a cheap painting inspired by the work of Joan Miro. But the best accessory by far is something you can't even see in the picture. He had a plastic rosary that looked like it was made of glow in the dark plastic. (I shit you not)

This is Bad Glasses Girl. Can you guess why she was given that name?

Here's JJ most likely whispering something evil in my ear about something someone is wearing.

I forgot to mention earlier that were in a THEME BAR. What was the theme you ask? It was a Rolling Stones theme bar.

Want (Another).

So, I caved and tried the new Tim Horton's Breakfast Sandwich© this morning. I know you've seen the commercials - the sausage, egg, and cheese one.

Verdict? YUMSIE.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a complete slave to Ronald. I adore the Sausage McMuffin©. (Full disclosure: I've been known to get TWO of them some mornings. I know.)

But the Hortonization really surprised me. So filling! Even kinda savoury! And Timmy's just said eff that to the whole "muffin" part of a breakfast sandwich and used a "biscuit." Buttery and goooood.

I can't wait to cure a hangover with one of these tasty bastards. McDonald's and their paltry "muffin" variety is dead to me. Unless my streetcar runs late.

Just checked the nutritional content out of curiousity;
McDonald's - 440 calories - 26g of fat.
Tim's - 500 calories - 34g of fat.

Um, wow. My heart is so fat.

SHE'S TROUBLE

I'm tired...I took Friday off because I had an old friend coming to town for the weekend. He's from Ottawa and he's trouble. We went out on Friday night at about 11ish and went to about 4 bars. At Byzantium I was talking with these two young guys they looked to be around 19 or 20 and one of them said to me there's lots of old guys in here, eh? I responded with old guys like me? They laughed and said no guys in their 30's. So how drunk, blind or stupid did you think they were? They said they thought I was 24! Thanks and whatever. Anyway we met lots of fun people all night and as always got drunk.
I went shopping all day Saturday with my friend but it took a toll on us. We were wiped on Saturday night but we still went out and met up with a friend who had a party after the bars closed. At 5am I knew it was time to go home.
My friend drove home on Sunday and I went to a Birthday party where I saw a girl (JJ) I had met a couple of times before. She's crazy fun! We had a great time making fun of badly dressed people like Bad Glasses Girl and Rosary Guy. We pretended to take pictures of each other but we were actually taking pictures of the bad fashion choices that had been made. I'll post bad some of 'em tonight.
I did lots of nothing Monday. I was invited to some Turkey Day dinners but I declined. I knew I'd be a wreck and would have to spend the day recovering from a busy weekend and that's just what I did. My Thanksgiving dinner consisted of chicken wings and pasta.

Go see JJ's Blog.

Who'd Ya Do?

Taking a cue from our latest blog title, this week's WYD all ties back to everyone's favourite skank...Paris!

Basically, here's some boys she's banged - I didn't include the Greeks.

Jason Shaw - "male model" and one of Hilton's former fiances.


Chad Michael Murray - actor on Thistle's Secret and Shameful Hour of TV


Simon Rex - former MTV VJ and wannabe-actor, he also dated my girlfriend, Jaime Pressly


Andy Roddick - tennis guy and recent rumoured Hilton conquest

Who'd Ya Do Jason Shaw Chad Michael Murray Simon Rex Andy Roddick View Results Make your own poll

HAPPY 211th BIRTHDAY

I went out tonight to celebrate Mr. Keith's 211th birthday! Yaaaayyyy!
Thanks for the tasty India Plae Ale.

THURSTDAY

Timmy is fed up with HNT so I suggested THURSTDAY. Every Thursday post a drink recipe. Why? Well everyone likes drinks and everyone likes recommendations. What better day than Thursday? It gives you time to get the all the things you need to try out your new drink or drinks over the weekend.
My first TURSTDAY post was recommended to me many years ago when Cashew worked at a bar here in Toronto called Byzantium. He called it A Bone Dry Vodka martini. It quite simple, instead of using a Vermouth wash use whisky (i.e. Glenfiddich). Remember it’s a wash only don’t leave any whiskey in the bottom of the glass or it’ll taste gross. It should only coat the glass and the rest should be poured out. If it is made correctly it is yumsytown if it isn’t made correctly (i.e. whiskey left in the bottom of the glass) it’s really icky.
CHEERS!

Its Pricey To Be Pretty.

Went to get another estimate on braces from another orthodontist at Downtown Dentistry and this time I was told $6,500.00 for top and bottom and was also told me to stay away from invisaline because with my teeth they would probably be only a temporary solution. She suggested braces with clear brackets on the top and regular braces on the bottom. She also suggested not having my teeth shaved as it's usually a bad idea. She said she would never do that to her teeth so she doesn't recommend it. She did say that she could do it however I want but those were her recommendations. I'd have to wear 'em for a year and a half to two years which is a stress.


I watched Dragons' Den on CBC last night and I really liked it. One problem the host is Dianne Buckner. She's so newsy and not fun at all. CBC should have had someone a little more personable and funny to host. In the after pitch interviews she's so...I'm a news reporter and I do not get anything but the facts. Leave it to the CBC to F@ck up the simplest of things. Get a new host one that's either mean or super nice (and funny helps). North Americans viewers like to see bias so give 'em what they want not what you think they should want.
BTW Robert Herjavec - Hot.

PASSING JUGEMENT

On the way to work today there was this chick in front of me wearing a white sweatshirt. The white shirt had a huge decal of a red price tag and on the price tag it said SALE in huge letters and Grand Opening just below that.
I don't know about you but I don't think this is a shirt a proper lady would wear as it may lead to unwanted advances. Now that I think of it she could have been Ms. Thistle.

Unreal.

So the Republicans found themselves stuck with a pedophile in the party.

What to do? What to do?

Don't worry, guys! Fox News has an idea!

GOOD TVEE

The show Heroes is really good. I hope it doesn't get canceled.

The Class is funny as hell. Did you see the reporter get hit with the stop sign last night?

I have Adam in the office pool. If he wins I get $200.00. I'd so buy a copier from him.

I watched Dexter last night. Wasn't a huge fan but it was OK. I might give it another chance.

I like Vanished but I expect it to be canceled by winter.

Love Stargate Atlantis

My secret Shame....
I can't get enough of the GHOST WHISPERER.

And You?

Wanted to relax and stay in at least one night this weekend but instead the after work drinks turned into meeting friends and getting really drunk at Crews. Satty was another drunk night were I almost stayed home but went out instead. Had lots of fun though. Didn't go see the art of NuitBlanche, didn't go to the movies, didn't really rest up, and didn't behave but I did have some Sunday brunch with my uncle. My friend is coming from Ottawa this weekend which will be trouble and the TRAILER PARK BOYS movie is finally being released. Yaaay!