Me! Me! Meme!

So, AG tagged me on this and, after slacking for a bit, I now present "Five Things About Me You May Not Already Know (and Have Never Before Revealed on This Blog." Yay!

1. I have never had any broken bones or cavities.

2. I absolutely cannot hear the song Puff The Magic Dragon without crying. No joke. I had to fast-forward a scene in Meet The Parents because of it. Little Jackie Paper is a Little Fucking Asshole.

3. I cannot whistle except by using my fingers. Is there a term for that specific type of whistling? Whatevs, I can't do this, but I can do this. I also can't snap my fingers because it hurts. Shut up.

4. Once, when I was little and we had a really big snowstorm, I convinced my younger sister to pretend she was a dog while we were playing in the backyard. I then told her to crawl around and pull me on the sled, then I hit her with a stick when I wanted to make her go faster. We played this game for hours. Good times.

5. I was a figure skater for over ten years. Highest jump landed was a double flip. I miss it still and keep meaning to get my skates from my parents' basement. I also played badminton in high school, but quit because of my temper (I used to throw my rackets against the wall). Good times.

And now I tag...Salem!

Ha, Ha!

What's the difference between Timmy and an airplane?

Not everyone has been in an airplane. Ha, ha!

Here's a video I took with my phone of a gay bar Timmy and Pablo took me to. Look at all the hot Indy boys.

Ha, Ha!

What's the time difference between Indianapolis and Toronto?
About thirty years. Ha, ha!

Memories

Here's a pic of the "Night Club" Timmy, Pablo and Leslie took me to on Friday night. Thank God for that Twinrix shot I had before I left for Indianapolis.

Happy Belated!

Happy belated birthday wishes to Timmy and Indygirl. I'm sorry I missed the roadtrip and party, but snapped a pic of myself celebrating here while thinking of you. I hope YJA wasn't too mean.

Come to Toronto!

Lessons Learned In Indianapolis

Things I Learned This Weekend
I’m really scared of guns.
Indianapolis is far.
Gay line dancing is funny as hell.
Jason doesn’t like me to help him read.
Timmy and Pablo are drama queens.
Timmy CANNOT hold his liquor.
Leslie really isn’t racist.
Pablo thinks I’m too nice and I should be meaner.
Butchie really likes people to know that he’s friends with Gay Canadians
They don’t have a lot of cabs.
They don’t have many Asians
They like to pack the streets to see lights get turned on.
I’m glad we can’t smoke in bars here.
IndyGirl never stops smiling
Jason may have a crush on someone
Salem might have a crush on someone
Pablo could have a crush on someone
They say "Christmas" not "holiday" at public functions.
You must make Buchie say $9.99? Girrrl you lost your mind!
There are tumbles weed in Indianapolis. I saw one.
Mme Rouge will find a "Black Eagle" in any city she goes to.

Who's gonna send me my Jacket that I left in Indy?


I ALMOST FORGOT. MME. ROUGE LOVES GIRLS! KISSIN UP ON 'EM AND SHIT! (Just ask Leslie)

Got An Indie Band?

You need Clell Tickle: Indie Marketing Guru. Just ignore that hired goon.

Is This The New Peso?

Canadian Tire outlets in Calgary, Red Deer and Airdrie recently hired 60 Mexican workers. They pay for round-trip airfare, medical insurance, have to provide them with accommodation and they can't recoup the costs of recruitment from the workers.
So will Pablo be moving to Alberta to be with his family?

Thing I Expect To See This Weekend

Lots of square dancing on Saturday Night.

Timmy's special Birthday cake

Buchie's Kids.

Pablo's Band - Kentucky Mexico

A relaxing plake cruise.

No. Words.

I tried. I really did.

I wasn't gonna comment on The Tooth and his Tru Luv's wedding.

And I would have made it if I hadn't seen this story about how he serenaded her at their reception with the song from Top Gun. Douche.

Nice bangs, Tommy.

Totally 80's Weekend

Friday I headed out to Madonnaramma at fly with some friends and had a great time. One Madonna song after another and yes it was a bit much. I remember being at the Tequila Lounge for a Madonna night like this a couple of years back but this one was packed. There was a huge line up to get in at 10:30. I may have stayed out too late (again) but c'est la vie, non?

Saturday I went over to a friend's house for drinks and Trivial Pursuit 80's Version. I was really only good at TV and Music. Not good enough though. I lost :(

That's it for today I have lots of work to do.

Want!

How have I never heard of this? A turducken. A turkey stuffed with a duck that has been stuffed by a chicken.


And you can top it with bacon. My mind? She is blown.

Who'd Ya Do?

Inspired by Auntie's earlier Hottie Canucks post, this week's WYD is the All Canadian Singers edition. But I'm going with all girls this time.

It was tough to narrow down, so I just stuck with the big names, but I'm sure there'll still be lots of "where's Sarah/Chantal/Anne/Joni/BlahBlah?" Why am I explaining? Haters can just suck it...I'm hungry and it's Roti Friday for me!

Borat tonight!

Also - if you aren't watching Ugly Betty or the U.S. version of The Office yet, you're missing out on some funnies!

Celine:


Avril:


Shania:


Nelly:

Celine Avril Shania Nelly View Results Make your own poll

Fey.

Tina Fey. Former SNL head writer and Weekend Update co-anchor. Currently a 30 Rock-er. I want her to be my best friend. Even more so now that she's talking shit about Paris Hilton on Howard Stern this morning.



Some choice tidbits:

- she left "nasty wads of Barbie hair on the floor" from her "cheap weave"
- she has "giant man hands"
- Paris actually “looks like a tranny.”

So Mean Girls. I love her.

BAHHHHHH HUMBUG!

I REALLY DON'T LIKE CHRISTMAS.

I'm a Grinch

TAKE THAT YOU LITTLE SNOT NOSED KID!

They're putting up the Christmas decorations in my office building today and the Cavelcaide of Lights started in Little Italy last night. And so the nightmare begins!!!

Did I mention I really don't like Christmas?

And Where's Stompin' Tom On The List?

10 Sexiest Canadian Men Alive
Click the name for his picture.

10. Mike Holmes (TV)
9. Brendan Fehr (TV, Movies, CK ads)
8. Raine Maida (from Our Lady Peace)
7. Prevail (from Swollen Members)
6. George Canyon (Country Singer)
5. Kiefer Sutherland (Actor)
4. Gabriel Aubry (Model)
3. Adam Beach (actor)
2. Ryan Gosling (Actor)
1. Ryan Reynolds (Actor)

This should make Salem way happy!
Full story here
btw I can't believe I'm not on that list. I'm super hot!


AND IN OTHER NEWS
Pablo has been caught!
Is she retarded?
Oh please… as if no one knew.

No Pablo! Canada Is Not For You!

KEEP OUT!

Oh and today Jason sent me this not safe for work link about Survivor's Ozzy.

FACE DENTS

I have noticed a lot of cleft chins and dimples on TV as of late. I’m not sure if it’s one of those things I happened to recently notice or that there is more of them than usual. Anyway it made me start wondering why we find dents in people’s faces attractive if they’re on the cheeks or the chin. I mean a dimple on your forhead or a cleft on your nose wouldn’t work right? Dimples and clefts are nothing more than deformities right?

Stuff That Creeps Me Out #3

Collages.



Children who excel in this craft in art class should be taken care of immediately as the little perverts are simply stalkers-in-training.

Although I must admit I do appreciate a good collage on TV, 'cause at least you know you've got a good storyline coming up. Case in point? One Tree Hill. Stalker-Dude had a massive collage and dressed a hooker up like his stalkee. Sad fact: I think this is the third time I've mentioned this show in a post. I need help.

I have a sneaking suspicion Pablo has a collage or two kicking around the hacienda.

Posh.

Us Chubby Betties need to get in shape before the holiday snacks hit our sight. What to do? Well, Victoria Beckham's stay-skinny secrets are out!

Miss Vicky's still a little chunky for me. I'm holding out for Allegra Versace's fun diet tips.


Oh. Silly me. Look what I've gone and done here. Wrong Beckham. Who would want to look at that disgusting David with no shirt on? Not Me. No, sir.


EDIT: Ooooh! Had to add one of this week's Page Six Blind Items! And it's one I can finally guess! SO Nicole Richie...

WHICH young Hollywood starlet had secret gastric bypass surgery, but then lost too much weight? During a recent four-day stint at a health clinic, she was actually having an operation to remove the bypass.

I'M A BAD CITIZEN

I don’t think I’m going to have a chance to Vote today. Too much stuff to do at work. I'm such a bad citizen.
Grapefruit was fun on Friday. Lots of surprise visitors. And lots of fun!

It's That Time Of Month!

Grapefruit Tonight! It’s always fun. Last month was great. I may have got a wee bit messy on the last trip to Grapefruit but c’est la vie, non? Salem and I will be going with some other people we know.
Mme. Rouge & Jason won’t be there because they’ve never been and never plan to go to Fly for anything, ever! But I'm sure there's something good on TV and Zippers should be rocking. :P
The show was especially funny last month because it had a Friday the 13th theme. It was a drag show made for Skitzzee. You can see it below.

PART 1 FRIDAY THE 13th SHOW


PART 2 FRIDAY THE 13th SHOW

Who'd Ya Do? D-I-V-O-R-C-E

All those Hollywood divorces make some rich celebrities available. So who'd ya do?

REECE

RYAN

BRIT

K-FED

JESSICA

NICK

Who'd Ya Do? Reece W Ryan P Britney S K-Fed Jessica S Nick S View Results Make your own poll

There will not be Liza M. and David G. or Whitney H. and Bobby B. 'cause they're crazy. Liza would win anyway.

Sick.

I'm sad and mopey. I was off with the flu yesterday and, while feeling MUCH better today, I'm still feeling...off. Food doesn't even taste that good. No, I know.

I missed the Imogen Heap concert last night. So sad.

This song is fun and kinda mopey, so I love it today. And I love Emily Haines. And I know at least Salem will love it;

Childhood Memories

Here's Pablo as a child. Pablo sold nick knacks (and Chiclets) to tourists. You think this may have been were the whole killing Canadians thing started? Since Canadians are notoriously cheap I would imaging it pissed him off when they bargained with him to bring the price down. I suspect he had a run in with a French Canadian Lesbian (the cheapest kind of Canadian as per a bartender in Puerto Vallarta).

IT'S SO HARD FOR ME

I'll be soooooo busy at work for the next two days. You won't hear much from me. (Is that a good thing?) Thistle will be sure to entertain. I'm positive she will be following the Britney story closely and telling you tales of things she wants.

I leave you with a new fashion icon.

ZOMG!

I'm sure you've all heard, considering it was breaking news on CNN on an election day, but here's The Fug Girls' take on the Britney/Kevin divorce.

Loves it.

Want!

Time Magazine has just released their "Best Inventions of 2006" list.

The winner? YouTube. Which I must admit affected my life greatly this year. :::hugs computer:::

Others include an STD vaccine, a cool robot dinosaur, a shirt that allows sad people to receive virtual hugs, and a creepy military robot that hauls away the dead.

My fave? A fuckin' floating bed.



I need to win that lottery. My life is not complete without that bed. I would straight up die if they could make it maneuver like a hovercraft.

It's Tuesday

It's Tuesday.

BAD NEWS
It's rainy
I'm tired
I'm grouchy
I'm broke because I just paid my land tax for 2005
I'll be broke next month because I have to pay my land tax for 2006
Autumn sucks
GOOD NEWS
I did find out my company is closed Dec 25th through the 1st of Jan. So that week is paid holiday!
I do plan to win $36,000,000.00 from the Lotto 6/49 tomorrow. Wish me luck. I can't wait to win!
The Mercer Report is on tonight.
It hasn't snowed here yet!

Best Blog Ever.

I'm not positive, but it looks like Jason has a sooper sekrit new blog! I'm a fan.

Minor rant: Renewing my passport is a major pain in my ass. Finding a guarantor to sign the back of my photos? Not so easy. And I'm glad I left my birth certificate at my parents' house for "safe keeping." Screw you, Canada!

Fun fact: Kevin Federline will be at MuchMusic today. Ladies, I'd steer clear as I'm sure women within a one block radius will be impregnated.

Why I'm Better Than You

1. You’re Not Me.
2. I’m Not You.
3. My mum said so.
4. Your mom said so.
5. Have you seen you?
6. Have you seen me?

BE LIKE MADONNA & ANGELINA

Click here to adopt your own African baby.

It'll make you feel like a star!

TGIF

Sometimes at work I feel like the puppy in this picture. TGIF

Martyr.

Don't get me wrong, I love Madonna.

Although, after reading this excerpt from her upcoming Time magazine interview, I think she's starting to become a bit of a douche and needs to get off her friggin' cross already.

Look, I could have joined the U.N. and become an ambassador and visited various countries and just kind of showed up and smiled and looked concerned. But that's not getting to the root of the problem. And by the way, neither is building orphan care centers and giving people food and medicine. But it's a start. I'm saving people's lives. I'm not interested in going in there like a dilettante and being an idiot and going 'Ok, I'm going to build 10 orphanages and I'll see you guys later!”

You got that? She's saving lives, people!

A weird, not-so-subtle 'fuck you' to Angelina, too, but I'll just sum that up as "jus' jellus."

Who'd Ya Do

Y'all know how important my lunch is to me and I've got Swiss Chalet arriving in about five minutes (no joke!), so this week's WYD is a simple one.

Famous Roberts, yo!

Mmmmm, Robert Redford:


Yumsie Robert Downey Jr.:


Tasty Rob(ert) Lowe:


My second favourite Wagner, Robert:


Mmmmmmm, Robert-y!

Redford Downey Jr. Lowe Wagner View Results Make your own poll

If There Is A God...

OMG.
Ann Coulter refuses to cooperate with investigation of voter fraud. It's gonna be so sweet if she's not allowed to vote in this election. Sweet, sweet schadenfreude.

I didn't feel like searching for a pic of her to post for fear of being branded a righty at work, so I've posted the next best thing.


Fun fact: I have eaten Subway for lunch three days this week. Should I change my name to Jared?

THURSTDAY

Time for a fancy grown up drink. I don't often drink Manhattans but every once in a while I like to have one. I never get it in a martini glass I always have it in a rocks glass over ice.
You Need:
Cracked ice
2 oz. rye whiskey (or bourbon)
1/2 oz. sweet vermouth
1-2 dashes Angostura bitters (optional)
1 maraschino cherry

Put cracked ice in a shaker.
Add whiskey or bourbon, vermouth and, if desired, bitters.
Shake.
Strain over ice.
Garnish with a cherry.

Or just get it from a bartender. That's what I do.

Halloween Night

Salem and I went out last night at about 10:00pm with plans to go home at midnight. We might have stayed out a little later than expected. It might have been 2:15am when we went home all drunk and tired. We got all dressed up and went to the Church Street Halloween Party. Every year Church Street is closed to traffic on Halloween night and the street fills up with people from all over the city. It was packed this year. Crowds of people everywhere dancing and partying. I lost Salem for about ½ hour but luckily he found me standing in line at a bar. Here are some pictures from last night.


The Lego Guy


Who would have guessed Robin was a top?


Holly getting some


Jigsaw was great. He won the costume competition at one of the bars we went to.


I loved this costume. Who doesn't like Chinese food?


Salem pointed out Harry Potter. I don’t think the chick was dressed up though.